Next Week: Bananaman saves Aberfan

Imagine, if you will, that I’ve written, and you’ve just read, a lengthy essay on fanfic: we’ve discussed folk art, hagiographic traditions, and the IP implications of unauthorised creativity. O.K.? We’ve done enough to take it seriously, and we’re a bit bored.

Now let me introduce Goku:

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He’s the hero of Dragonball Z: sent to earth by some evil people, now fights on side of good, bit of a dope, hard as nails. I think he may have schooled in Satan City.

This is Anne Frank:

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She had a run of bad luck in the 40s.

What happens when they team up?

“Now come on.” Commanded Goku. “We’ve got some Nazi ass to kick.” Anne jumped on the mysterious Saiyan’s back, as he launched off into the sky.

If only…

Goku emerged from the tank’s hatch, smiling now that he had done his duty. When all of the dust cleared, there were only two people remaining on the parade ground: Goku, the Saiyan hero, and Adolf Hitler, the most evil man ever to walk the earth[…]Anne watched from nearby fearfully as she saw the two men stare at each other for what seemed like hours. Her one true love, and her ultimate oppressor. It had come down to this. “So,” Hitler said jovially “You took out all of my men. However, you aren’t going to defeat me.”

If you want to know what happens next (is there any way you couldn’t?), just visit fanfiction.net. They also have an extensive collection of marching band stories (SFW – it’s mostly innocent).