I’m trying to help you here, Mr Amis. We’re creating buzz! Everyone’s talking about me talking about you! (I have no evidence to back that up). You look all cool and onliney, like Johnny Mnemonic, because I’m writing about you.
I really do like your work. The Pregnant Widow opens strongly; your style’s still good. But ok look, when you decide it’s time to spice up conversation with a Science Fact, even if it’s a light and jolly one, you’ve got to be careful.
‘I read something the other day,’ said Whittaker, ‘that made me warm to breasts. It made me see them in a different light. In evolutionary terms, this guy says, the breasts are there to imitate the arse.’
‘The breasts ape the arse. As an inducement to having sex face to face[…]’
It’s not your fault, since I imagine you don’t watch much TV, but it’s a really bad sign when your character’s talking points are the same as, well, 1:20 in this: