Why have you defaced a picture of Thomas Mann?
Something to do.
Does it not strike you as crude?
What were your motivations?
It’s folk art. I’m a genius.
No it isn’t. You aren’t.
I prefer Hermann Broch. I wished to express my preference.
Have you read the book you just linked to?
In what sense read?
What if I were to tell you that picture was in fact of Heinrich Mann?
It would upset me.
Because I wanted to deface a picture of Thomas Mann.
The picture is not of Heinrich Mann.
I don’t care.
Why does Mann have ‘Mum’ written on his forehead?
It’s a tattoo. He had a tattoo done to show how much he loves his mum.
Why does he have both vampire teeth and a monster bolt? Is this not some kind of contradiction?
Because he’s a Dracula and a Frankenstein.
Isn’t one of the classic tropes of picture defacement the Hitler moustache? Were you not tempted…
That would have been an insult to Mann’s committed anti-fascism.
Were you tempted to use green for the bogies?
No. My art is pure.
Wait a minute…
It’s Robert Lowell!